{"id":121,"date":"2017-02-24T22:04:17","date_gmt":"2017-02-24T22:04:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/psihologterapeutiasi.ro\/?p=121"},"modified":"2017-04-10T20:16:14","modified_gmt":"2017-04-10T20:16:14","slug":"121","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/psihologterapeutiasi.ro\/index.php\/2017\/02\/24\/121\/","title":{"rendered":"Victim\u0103 caut agresor. Ofer recompens\u0103!"},"content":{"rendered":"


\n<\/span>Nu pu\u021bini sunt aceia care se pl\u00e2ng mereu c\u0103 sunt tr\u0103da\u021bi, abuza\u021bi fizic sau emo\u021bional, folosi\u021bi, nerespecta\u021bi sau respin\u0219i \u0219i practic ei nu \u00een\u021beleg de ce au parte numai de astfel de oameni \u00een via\u021ba lor. Dureros este mai ales faptul c\u0103 tocmai cei care ar trebui s\u0103 ne fie recunosc\u0103tori, s\u0103 ne iubeasc\u0103 \u0219i s\u0103 ne respecte, sunt cei care ne r\u0103nesc.\u0218i atunci unde e dreptatea divin\u0103 cu care \u201edefil\u0103m\u201d pe drumul evolu\u021biei noastre?<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0 \"\"\u00a0 \u00a0\u0218i acum, dac\u0103 furia ta s-a atenuat, hai s\u0103 privim dincolo de situa\u021bia care ne-a r\u0103nit \u0219i de durerea care ne-a produs-o! Nu voi \u00eencepe incursiunea dec\u00e2t dup\u0103 ce \u00ee\u021bi voi spune c\u0103 problema aceasta nerezolvat\u0103, \u00een timp, te va face s\u0103 vezi agresori \u0219i situa\u021bii de agresiune peste tot, chiar \u0219i acolo unde nu sunt, adic\u0103 o \u201escenarit\u0103 cronic\u0103\u201d…. a\u0219a cum ne place nou\u0103 s\u0103 glumim uneori.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 A\u0219 \u00eencepe \u00eentreb\u00e2ndu-te dac\u0103 \u021bi s-a \u00eent\u00e2mplat vreodat\u0103, bucuros fiind sau fericit… dac\u0103 e s\u0103 c\u0103lc\u0103m pe t\u0103r\u00e2mul filozofiei, \u0219i s\u0103 sim\u021bi nevoia s\u0103 r\u0103ne\u0219ti pe cineva? \u0218tim cu to\u021bii c\u0103 r\u0103spunsul e NU! \u00cen sufletele noastre nu pot coexista \u0219i bucuria \u0219i triste\u021bea! \u0218i furia \u0219i lini\u0219tea! \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 Atunci cred c\u0103 ar trebui s\u0103 \u00eencepem a\u0219a: c\u00e2nd un om ne produce o ran\u0103 emo\u021bional\u0103 \u2013 agresiune, respingere, ur\u0103, critic\u0103, sfidare, ironie… \u2013 acel om are \u0219i el o ran\u0103. Are o suferin\u021b\u0103 cumplit\u0103 care se dore\u0219te a fi vindecat\u0103. Existen\u021ba acestei r\u0103ni duce la gesturi \u0219i reac\u021bii nepotrivite cu cei din jur. Nu persoana este agresiv\u0103, dac\u0103 putem spune a\u0219a, ci rana care \u201e\u021bip\u0103 cu disperare\u201d \u0219i cere interven\u021bie terapeutic\u0103. \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 <\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Acum probabil c\u0103 ai reu\u0219it s\u0103 prive\u0219ti dincolo de ceea ce \u021bi-a produs triste\u021be sau furie. \u00cen cel din fa\u021ba ta este o ran\u0103 dureroas\u0103 care nu are nici o leg\u0103tur\u0103 cu tine, care \u00eel face s\u0103 func\u021bioneze disfunc\u021bional \u0219i nu are nimic personal cu tine. Nu e nimic premeditat, ci pur \u0219i simplu prezen\u021ba ta \u0219i ceea ce faci tu, contextul creat, \u00eel activeaz\u0103 \u0219i \u00eel face s\u0103 te atace emo\u021bional sau, de ce nu, \u0219i fizic. Agresorul caut\u0103 o victim\u0103!\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Privirea r\u0103nii celuilalt cu compasiune \u0219i curaj ne umanizeaz\u0103 \u0219i d\u0103 putere sufletului nostru s\u0103 dep\u0103\u0219easc\u0103 ura, furia, frica sau triste\u021bea. A vedea rana celuilalt te face puternic, \u00ee\u021bi cre\u0219te \u00eencrederea \u00een tine c\u0103 po\u021bi controla situa\u021bia. Devii propriul st\u0103p\u00e2n \u0219i nu mai e\u0219ti victima agresorului, lucru care \u00eei dizolv\u0103 puterea asupra ta.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Nimeni nu spune c\u0103 tu nu ai dreptul s\u0103 suferi, c\u0103 nu te-a r\u0103nit, c\u0103 nu ai nevoie de compasiune, dar victimizarea nu va schimba cu nimic situa\u021bia. Nu te va ridica deasupra agresorului. A vedea rana din agresor nu anuleaz\u0103 suferin\u021ba ta, doar c\u0103 \u00ee\u021bi d\u0103 putere de \u00een\u021belegere: Ce ran\u0103 ai TU \u00een sufletul t\u0103u care rezoneaz\u0103 cu cea a agresorului? Dac\u0103 tu nu ai o suferin\u021b\u0103 ascuns\u0103, cum de te-a durut? Doar r\u0103nile deschise dor, nu? \u00cen\u021beleg\u00e2nd ce ran\u0103 ai tu po\u021bi alege un comportament adecvat care s\u0103 nu-l stimuleze pe cel\u0103lalt: nu vei riposta la jignire, nu vei sim\u021bi nevoia s\u0103 te aperi, nu vei repro\u0219a, nu vei deveni \u0219i tu violent sau pur \u0219u simplu vei pleca. Tu vei dicta ce faci nu personalitatea ta lezat\u0103! Nu vei mai fi o victim\u0103 neputincioas\u0103!<\/span><\/p>\n

DE CE ATRAG AGRESORI \u00ceN VIA\u021aA MEA?<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 Pentru c\u0103 Universului \u00eei place armonia \u0219i pentru ca tu s\u0103 \u00eenve\u021bi iubirea, iertarea, compasiunea, convingerile pe care le ai despre via\u021b\u0103 \u0219i oameni vor dicta calitatea experien\u021belor tale. Cu c\u00e2t vei respinge mai mult defectele celor din jur, cu at\u00e2t Universul \u021bi le va trimite, pentru ca tu s\u0103 inve\u021bi iubirea necondi\u021bionat\u0103, nonjudecativitatea. Faptul c\u0103 \u00een via\u021ba ta ai parte de abuzatori \u00een mod repetat \u00ee\u021bi indic\u0103 felul cum g\u00e2nde\u0219ti despre ei, despre rela\u021biile tale, de neacceptarea ta. Universul \u201ese sup\u0103r\u0103\u201d atunci c\u00e2nd respingi p\u0103r\u021bi care fac parte din El.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 Dac\u0103 \u00eencerci s\u0103 evi\u021bi, ca s\u0103 nu trebuiasc\u0103 s\u0103 accep\u021bi \u2013 \u0219mecher\u0103 mintea asta! \u2013 totul va fi doar o iluzie de moment, pentru c\u0103, \u00een timp, vei constata c\u0103 acei oameni pe care tu \u00eei considera minuna\u021bi vor deveni \u00een timp… ghici ce? AGRESORI!<\/span><\/p>\n

CE POT FACE?<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 Ceea ce ai de f\u0103cut este s\u0103 dizolvi convingerile care atrag abuzatorii din via\u021ba ta. Pentru rela\u021bii frumoase trebuie s\u0103 g\u00e2nde\u0219ti frumos despre oameni, s\u0103 le vezi calit\u0103\u021bile, s\u0103 fii sincer, autentic, chiar dac\u0103 experin\u021bele tale anterioare au fost nepl\u0103cute. Asta nu \u00eenseamn\u0103 s\u0103 te min\u021bi singur c\u0103 e\u0219ti \u00eenconjurat de \u00eengeri, nicidecum, ci s\u0103 \u00eencerci s\u0103 prive\u0219ti dincolo de comportamentul oamenilor \u0219i s\u0103 vezi cauzele ac\u021biunilor lor, traumele, suferin\u021bele \u0219i r\u0103nile lor. Omul nu este comportamentul lui! Vorbele \u0219i ac\u021biunile oamenilor sunt dictate de suferin\u021ba lor sau de bucuria lor.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 Un caz particular este acela al persoanelor care au convingerea c\u0103 oamenii sunt doar buni. Ace\u0219ti oameni poart\u0103 \u0219i ei o ran\u0103, o durere, nu pot accepta violen\u021ba uman\u0103. Sunt persoane care au fost martorii violen\u021belor, abuzurilor fizice \u0219i emo\u021bionale, f\u0103r\u0103 a putea intreveni, este o ran\u0103 a neputin\u021bei. Ei atrag agresori tocmai pentru a accepta oamenii a\u0219a cum sunt, nu s\u0103 le nege ac\u021biunile.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 Dac\u0103 vei \u00een\u021belege durerile celor din jur nu vei mai avea niciodat\u0103 du\u0219mani!<\/span><\/p>\n

Psiholog clinician \u2013 psihoterapeut
\nAntoanela \u2013 Carmen\u00a0Cogian<\/span><\/p>\n

Copierea sau reproducerea f\u0103r\u0103 men\u021bionarea sursei este strict interzis\u0103!<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\nNu pu\u021bini sunt aceia care se pl\u00e2ng mereu c\u0103 sunt tr\u0103da\u021bi, abuza\u021bi fizic sau emo\u021bional, folosi\u021bi, nerespecta\u021bi sau respin\u0219i \u0219i practic ei nu \u00een\u021beleg de ce au parte numai de astfel de oameni \u00een via\u021ba lor.
\n READ MORE<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":120,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-121","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-psihoterapie"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/psihologterapeutiasi.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/121","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/psihologterapeutiasi.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/psihologterapeutiasi.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/psihologterapeutiasi.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/psihologterapeutiasi.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=121"}],"version-history":[{"count":23,"href":"https:\/\/psihologterapeutiasi.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/121\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":207,"href":"https:\/\/psihologterapeutiasi.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/121\/revisions\/207"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/psihologterapeutiasi.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/120"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/psihologterapeutiasi.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=121"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/psihologterapeutiasi.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=121"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/psihologterapeutiasi.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=121"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}