{"id":283,"date":"2017-10-31T21:34:49","date_gmt":"2017-10-31T21:34:49","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/psihologterapeutiasi.ro\/?p=283"},"modified":"2017-10-31T21:36:13","modified_gmt":"2017-10-31T21:36:13","slug":"cum-le-vorbim-copiilor-despre-divort","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/psihologterapeutiasi.ro\/index.php\/2017\/10\/31\/cum-le-vorbim-copiilor-despre-divort\/","title":{"rendered":"Cum le vorbim copiilor despre divor\u021b?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"font-family: Gabriola; font-size: 24px;\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-medium wp-image-284\" src=\"https:\/\/psihologterapeutiasi.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/08\/20707556_2356435531249106_1071384481_n-300x200.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"200\" srcset=\"https:\/\/psihologterapeutiasi.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/08\/20707556_2356435531249106_1071384481_n-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/psihologterapeutiasi.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/08\/20707556_2356435531249106_1071384481_n-600x399.jpg 600w, https:\/\/psihologterapeutiasi.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/08\/20707556_2356435531249106_1071384481_n-120x80.jpg 120w, https:\/\/psihologterapeutiasi.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/08\/20707556_2356435531249106_1071384481_n-480x320.jpg 480w, https:\/\/psihologterapeutiasi.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/08\/20707556_2356435531249106_1071384481_n.jpg 750w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/>Divor\u021bul p\u0103rin\u021bilor, deci dezmembrarea unei familii, a unei baze de ata\u0219ament, este una din cele mai puternice traume prin care poate trece un copil. Pur \u0219i simplu se spulber\u0103 un vis din care tu, ca \u0219i copil, te hr\u0103neai, respirai. <\/span><!--more--><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: Gabriola; font-size: 24px;\">\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 Dincolo de etichetarea ta ca \u0219i copil de p\u0103rin\u021bi divor\u021ba\u021bi, \u0219i cei care au trecut prin epoca comunist\u0103 \u0219tiu despre ce vorbesc, va trebui s\u0103-\u021bi creezi noi mecanisme de adaptare, de supravie\u021buire: oameni noi, locuri noi, reguli noi, situa\u021bii noi.\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: Gabriola; font-size: 24px;\">\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 Mii de copii trec anual prin stresul provocat de divor\u021bul p\u0103rin\u021bilor lor. Felul \u00een care fiecare dintre ei reac\u021bioneaz\u0103 depinde foarte mult de v\u00e2rsta la care se afl\u0103, de nivelul de dezvoltare al fiec\u0103rui copil \u00een parte, de personalitatea lui \u0219i de circumstan\u021bele \u00een care se \u00eencheie o c\u0103snicie. \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: Gabriola; font-size: 24px;\">\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 Fiecare divor\u021b \u00ee\u0219i pune amprenta \u00eentr-un anume fel \u00een via\u021ba copilului t\u0103u. Acesta poate fi \u0219ocat, poate avea sentimente de furie, de \u00eengrijorare, de triste\u021be sau de frustrare. Totu\u0219i, sunt unii copii care ulterior pot face mai bine fa\u021b\u0103 stresului \u0219i se maturizeaz\u0103 mai repede.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: Gabriola; font-size: 24px;\">\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 Ca \u0219i p\u0103rinte este bine s\u0103 \u021bii cont de aceste sfaturi dac\u0103 \u00eenc\u0103 nu v-a\u021bi decis c\u0103 dori\u021bi s\u0103 divor\u021ba\u021bi:<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"font-family: Gabriola; font-size: 24px;\">\u021aine conflictul \u0219i discu\u021biile aprinse departe de urechile copilului;<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-family: Gabriola; font-size: 24px;\">Fiecare p\u0103rinte s\u0103 fac\u0103 parte din via\u021ba de zi cu zi a copilului;<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-family: Gabriola; font-size: 24px;\">\u00cencearc\u0103 s\u0103 nu mai da\u021bi vina unul pe cel\u0103lalt \u00een cadrul \u0219edintelor de psihoterapie sau atunci c\u00e2nd sta\u021bi de vorb\u0103 cu prietenii \u2013 a\u0219a nu ve\u021bi reu\u0219i s\u0103 v\u0103 rezolva\u021bi problemele.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: Gabriola; font-size: 24px;\">\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 Deseori adul\u021bii au nevoie de suport emo\u021bional, moral, psihic de la prieteni, profesioni\u0219ti \u0219i familie. Nu c\u0103uta suportul \u00een copii t\u0103i, chiar dac\u0103 pare c\u0103 ar vrea s\u0103 te ajute!<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: Gabriola; font-size: 24px;\">\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 Abia dup\u0103 ce a\u021bi luat decizia de a divor\u021ba \u0219i sunte\u021bi siguri c\u0103 asta dori\u021bi, \u00eentruni\u021bi o discu\u021bie cu copiii pentru a le comunica. De preferat este s\u0103 fie ambii p\u0103rin\u021bi de fa\u021b\u0103. Dac\u0103 considera\u021bi c\u0103 va fi greu s\u0103 l\u0103sa\u021bi deoparte \u00een acel moment sentimentele de furie, vinov\u0103\u021bie sau de a-l judeca pe cel\u0103lalt, v\u0103 recomand s\u0103 exersa\u021bi \u00eenainte ceea ce le ve\u021bi comunica copiilor de mai multe ori.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: Gabriola; font-size: 24px;\">\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Cu toate acestea, discu\u021bia despre divor\u021b ar trebui spus\u0103 \u00een func\u021bie de v\u00e2rsta pe care o au copiii \u0219i s\u0103 se spun\u0103 explicit c\u0103 este o problem\u0103 \u00eentre mama \u0219i tata, iar copiii nu au absolut nici o vin\u0103! Este foarte important ca p\u0103rin\u021bii s\u0103 men\u021bioneze acest lucru, deoarece copiii au tendin\u021ba de a se \u00eenvinov\u0103\u021bi pentru faptul c\u0103 p\u0103rin\u021bii au decis s\u0103 divor\u021beze. Ofer\u0103 copiilor t\u0103i destule informa\u021bii pentru a putea s\u0103 se preg\u0103teasc\u0103 pentru schimb\u0103rile care vor urma. \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: Gabriola; font-size: 24px;\">\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 <strong>ATEN\u021aIE!<\/strong> Copiii nu au nevoie s\u0103 \u0219tie toate detaliile cauzei divor\u021bului, ci doar strictul necesar! <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: Gabriola; font-size: 24px;\">\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 Cu copiii mai mici vom proceda \u00eentr-un mod foarte simplu \u0219i pe \u00een\u021belesul lor, astfel: \u201cMama \u0219i tata au decis s\u0103 locuim \u00een case separate, astfel nu ne vom mai certa a\u0219a de des, dar am\u00e2ndoi te iubim foarte mult!\u201d. \u00a0 <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: Gabriola; font-size: 24px;\">\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 Copiii pot avea diverse reac\u021bii atunci c\u00e2nd le ve\u021bi comunica despre divor\u021b. Putem s\u0103 le comunic\u0103m astfel: \u201cEste firesc s\u0103 fii sup\u0103rat, \u0219i am\u00e2ndoi te iubim, dar nu ai vrea s\u0103 ne g\u00e2ndim la ceva care te-ar face s\u0103 te sim\u021bi mai bine?\u201d. \u00a0 \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: Gabriola; font-size: 24px;\">\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 Indifererent dac\u0103 copilul t\u0103u este furios, anxios sau \u00eengrijorat cu privire la divor\u021b, ei vor vrea s\u0103 \u0219tie cum va fi fiecare zi din via\u021ba lor de acum \u00eenainte. Ca \u0219i p\u0103rinte, ar trebui s\u0103 fii preg\u0103tit s\u0103 r\u0103spunzi la anumite \u00eentreb\u0103ri pe care copiii nu vor ezita s\u0103 le pun\u0103, chiar dac\u0103 \u00ee\u021bi va fi destul de greu s\u0103 r\u0103spunzi sincer.<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"font-family: Gabriola; font-size: 24px;\">M\u0103 voi muta de aici?<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-family: Gabriola; font-size: 24px;\">Cu cine voi locui de acum \u00eenainte?<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-family: Gabriola; font-size: 24px;\">Unde voi continua s\u0103 merg la \u0219coal\u0103? Va trebui s\u0103 merg la o alt\u0103 \u0219coal\u0103?<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-family: Gabriola; font-size: 24px;\">Unde va locui cel\u0103lalt p\u0103rinte?<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-family: Gabriola; font-size: 24px;\">Unde vom s\u0103rb\u0103tori de exemplu Cr\u0103ciunul?<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-family: Gabriola; font-size: 24px;\">\u00cemi voi mai vedea prietenii?<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-family: Gabriola; font-size: 24px;\">Mai pot merge \u00een vacan\u021ba de var\u0103 \u00een tab\u0103r\u0103?<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-family: Gabriola; font-size: 24px;\">Pot s\u0103 \u00eemi mai continui activit\u0103\u021bile mele preferate?<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: Gabriola; font-size: 24px;\">\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 Ajut\u0103-\u021bi copilul s\u0103 fac\u0103 fa\u021b\u0103 situa\u021biei&#8230;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: Gabriola; font-size: 24px;\">\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 Mul\u021bi copii, \u0219i p\u0103rin\u021bi, \u00ee\u0219i pierd speran\u021ba de a avea o familie a\u0219a cum au sperat \u0219i mai ales copiii simt lipsa unuia dintre p\u0103rin\u021bi \u0219i via\u021ba pe care au avut-o \u00eenainte. Este foarte normal ca unii copii s\u0103 spere, chiar \u0219i dup\u0103 \u00eencheierea divor\u021bului c\u0103 p\u0103rin\u021bii s\u0103i se vor \u00eemp\u0103ca \u00eentr-o bun\u0103 zi \u0219i vor fi din nou o familie, a\u0219a cum obi\u0219nuiau s\u0103 fie. Triste\u021bea pierderii familiei este normal\u0103 at\u00e2t la tine c\u00e2t \u0219i la copiii t\u0103i, dar cu timpul v\u0103 ve\u021bi obi\u0219nui noii situa\u021bii. Asigur\u0103-\u021bi copiii c\u0103 este normal ca s\u0103-\u0219i doreasc\u0103 ca p\u0103rin\u021bii s\u0103 fie din nou \u00eempreun\u0103, dar totu\u0219i aceasta este decizia voastr\u0103 final\u0103.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: Gabriola; font-size: 24px;\">\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 Este important s\u0103-\u021bi \u00eencurajezi copiii s\u0103 spun\u0103 ceea ce simt \u0219i s\u0103 \u00een\u021beleag\u0103 c\u0103 sentimentele lor sunt importante pentru p\u0103rin\u021bii lor \u0219i vor fi lua\u021bi \u00een serios. \u00cenva\u021b\u0103 s\u0103-\u021bi ascul\u021bi copiii \u0219i ajut\u0103-i s\u0103-\u0219i exprime g\u00e2ndurile \u0219i sentimentele, sprijin\u0103-i \u00een exprimarea sentimentelor. \u0218tiind c\u0103 vei trece printr-o perioad\u0103 stresant\u0103, nu uita totu\u0219i s\u0103 ai grij\u0103 \u0219i de s\u0103n\u0103tatea ta! De cele mai multe ori e posibil s\u0103 nu te po\u021bi descurca singur \u00een aceast\u0103 situa\u021bie a\u0219a c\u0103, cel mai bine ar fi s\u0103 cau\u021bi un grup de suport unde s\u0103 po\u021bi vorbi cu alte persoane despre problemele tale, s\u0103 te dest\u0103inui unui prieten sau chiar s\u0103 mergi la un psihoterapeut.<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: right;\"><span style=\"font-family: Gabriola; font-size: 24px;\">Psiholog clinician \u2013 psihoterapeut<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-family: Gabriola; font-size: 24px;\">Eliza \u2013 Geanina\u00a0Cogian<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"font-family: Gabriola; font-size: 24px;\">Copierea sau reproducerea f\u0103r\u0103 men\u021bionarea sursei este strict interzis\u0103!<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Divor\u021bul p\u0103rin\u021bilor, deci dezmembrarea unei familii, a unei baze de ata\u0219ament, este una din cele mai puternice traume prin care poate trece un copil. Pur \u0219i simplu se spulber\u0103 un vis din care tu, ca \u0219i copil, te hr\u0103neai, respirai. <br \/>\n <a class=\"read-more-link\" href=\"https:\/\/psihologterapeutiasi.ro\/index.php\/2017\/10\/31\/cum-le-vorbim-copiilor-despre-divort\/\">READ MORE<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":284,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[2,7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-283","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-articole","category-parinti-si-copii"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/psihologterapeutiasi.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/08\/20707556_2356435531249106_1071384481_n.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/psihologterapeutiasi.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/283","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/psihologterapeutiasi.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/psihologterapeutiasi.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/psihologterapeutiasi.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/psihologterapeutiasi.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=283"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/psihologterapeutiasi.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/283\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":308,"href":"https:\/\/psihologterapeutiasi.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/283\/revisions\/308"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/psihologterapeutiasi.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/284"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/psihologterapeutiasi.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=283"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/psihologterapeutiasi.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=283"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/psihologterapeutiasi.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=283"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}