{"id":398,"date":"2018-05-05T10:24:10","date_gmt":"2018-05-05T10:24:10","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/psihologterapeutiasi.ro\/?p=398"},"modified":"2018-05-05T10:24:10","modified_gmt":"2018-05-05T10:24:10","slug":"frica-de-abandon-sau-lanturile-dependentei","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/psihologterapeutiasi.ro\/index.php\/2018\/05\/05\/frica-de-abandon-sau-lanturile-dependentei\/","title":{"rendered":"FRICA DE ABANDON &#8230;. sau lan\u021burile dependen\u021bei"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"font-size: 24px; font-family: Gabriola;\">\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-medium wp-image-399\" src=\"https:\/\/psihologterapeutiasi.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/Frica-de-abandon...-sau-lanturile-dependentei-237x300.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"237\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/psihologterapeutiasi.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/Frica-de-abandon...-sau-lanturile-dependentei-237x300.jpg 237w, https:\/\/psihologterapeutiasi.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/Frica-de-abandon...-sau-lanturile-dependentei.jpg 379w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 237px) 100vw, 237px\" \/> Copil\u0103ria, despre care cei din jur ne \u00eenva\u021b\u0103 c\u0103 e cea mai frumoas\u0103 perioad\u0103 a vie\u021bii, \u0219i culmea&#8230; noi \u00eei credem, perpetu\u00e2nd cutuma, este de fapt pentru mica fiin\u021b\u0103 o perioad\u0103 foarte grea, pe care din fericire nu o con\u0219tientizeaz\u0103. <\/span><!--more--><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 24px; font-family: Gabriola;\">\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 Pentru c\u0103 nu are o g\u00e2ndire ra\u021bional\u0103 format\u0103, copilul nu poate alege ceea ce interiorizeaz\u0103: \u201eA\u0219a e bine&#8230; a\u0219a e corect&#8230; a\u0219a nu e voie&#8230; a\u0219a trebuie&#8230; a\u0219a se face&#8230; a\u0219a-i frumos&#8230;\u201d \u0219i toate astea pentru c\u0103 a\u0219a spune mama, tata \u0219i restul lumii!<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 24px; font-family: Gabriola;\">\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 La \u00eenceput totul e numai bucurie, copilul este el \u00eensu\u0219i \u0219i \u00ee\u0219i tr\u0103ie\u0219te via\u021ba cu entuziasm \u0219i curiozitate. \u00cen etapa a doua, copilul tr\u0103ie\u0219te durerea provocat\u0103 de interdic\u021bii \u0219i reguli. El \u00ee\u0219i d\u0103 seama c\u0103 nu are voie s\u0103 tr\u0103iasc\u0103 oricum \u0219i ceea ce i se cere de multe ori nu este \u00een concordan\u021b\u0103 cu ceea ce este \u00een interiorul lui, ca dorin\u021b\u0103. \u00cen cea de-a treia etap\u0103 se produce revolta copilului, o lupt\u0103 de putere dintre el \u0219i restul lumii. Acesta este momentul c\u00e2nd se produce o diviziune: unii r\u0103m\u00e2n bloca\u021bi \u00een aceast\u0103 etap\u0103 pe toat\u0103 durata vie\u021bii, adic\u0103 vor fi mereu reactivi, revolta\u021bi \u0219i furio\u0219i \u00een situa\u021bii de criz\u0103, al\u021bii \u00ee\u0219i vor modela personalitatea a\u0219a cum li se impune de mediul \u00een care tr\u0103iesc.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 24px; font-family: Gabriola;\">\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00cen ultimele dou\u0103 etape, pentru a se ap\u0103ra de suferin\u021ba sim\u021bit\u0103 \u00een etapa a doua, psihicul viitorului adult \u201eva construi\u201d o serie de m\u0103\u0219ti: <em>prin noul mod de a func\u021biona, omul ascunde fa\u021b\u0103 de sine \u00eensu\u0219i \u0219i fa\u021b\u0103 de cei din jur, suferin\u021ba nerezolvat\u0103.<\/em> \u00cen acest articol voi vorbi despre masca dependentului.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 24px; font-family: Gabriola;\">\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 Mul\u021bi dintre noi privim abandonul ca fiind doar de ordin fizic, dar acesta \u00eembrac\u0103 diverse forme. Este sentimentul c\u0103 e\u0219ti p\u0103r\u0103sit, c\u0103 e\u0219ti dat deoparte, c\u0103 nimeni nu se ocup\u0103 de tine. Ca \u0219i copil te po\u021bi sim\u021bi abandonat dac\u0103 se na\u0219te un alt copil \u00een familie, dac\u0103 e\u0219ti l\u0103sat \u00een grija altora spre a fi crescut, dac\u0103 e\u0219ti internat \u00een spital, dac\u0103 nu ai cui spune problemele tale. De multe ori situa\u021bia nu este practic un abandon, este o necesitate, dar important este felul cum se resimte situa\u021bia la nivel psihologic, deci traumatizant\u0103. De cele mai multe ori persoanele care au fric\u0103 de abandon au \u0219i fric\u0103 de respingere. Ele nu se exclud una pe alta.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 24px; font-family: Gabriola;\">\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Un om care dezvolt\u0103 aceast\u0103 fric\u0103 \u00ee\u0219i va construi \u00een timp masca dependentului \u2013 frica c\u0103 nu poate face nimic singur, c\u0103 to\u021bi sunt mai buni ca el \u00een orice situa\u021bie, a\u0219a c\u0103 simte mereu nevoia de a fi ajutat.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 24px; font-family: Gabriola;\">\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0<strong> \u00a0 Iat\u0103 c\u00e2teva situa\u021bii \u00een care po\u021bi reg\u0103si frica de abandon:<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"font-size: 24px; font-family: Gabriola;\">Aceste persoane simt o foame afectiv\u0103 \u0219i la maturitate vor dezvolta probleme legate de Poate apare m\u00e2ncatul compulsiv, hrana fizic\u0103 \u00eenlocuind hrana emo\u021bional\u0103 de care au at\u00e2ta nevoie. De asemenea lipsa hranei fizice \u00een copil\u0103rie poate provoca o ran\u0103 de abandon;<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-size: 24px; font-family: Gabriola;\">Persoanele cu aceast\u0103 fric\u0103 sunt sau devin victime \u00een rela\u021biile cu cei din jur. Dramatizeaz\u0103 via\u021ba pe care o tr\u0103iesc, se pl\u00e2ng mereu, totul e dificil, totul li se \u00eent\u00e2mpl\u0103 doar lor, \u00ee\u0219i vor g\u0103si \u00een permanen\u021b\u0103 diverse boli, de multe ori imaginare, dar din p\u0103cate, c\u00e2t de cur\u00e2nd, acestea pot deveni realitate. Astfel vor atrage persoane care s\u0103 \u00eei ajute mereu s\u0103 \u00eei poarte de grij\u0103, deci s\u0103 se simt\u0103 \u00een siguran\u021b\u0103;<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-size: 24px; font-family: Gabriola;\">Dependentul va juca foarte des rolul salvatorului. Faptul c\u0103 el \u021bine sub control victima, \u00eel face s\u0103 se simt\u0103 confortabil, c\u0103 nu e singur, c\u0103 are pe cineva al\u0103turi. El va fi de obicei \u201etat\u0103l\u201d sau \u201emama\u201d fra\u021bilor mai mici \u0219i va \u00eencerca mereu s\u0103-i salveze din impas, astfel sim\u021bindu-se important;<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-size: 24px; font-family: Gabriola;\">Persoana cu fric\u0103 de abandon are \u00een permanen\u021b\u0103 nevoie de sus\u021binerea celor din jur, nu poate lua singur\u0103 decizii, nu \u00ee\u0219i asum\u0103 o alegere. Astfel, pentru cei din jur poate p\u0103rea un om lene\u0219, de\u0219i nu este a\u0219a. Frica de ac\u021biune \u00eel face s\u0103 nu se hot\u0103rasc\u0103 \u00een a lua decizii, s\u0103 fie mereu oscilant, confuz;<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-size: 24px; font-family: Gabriola;\">Persoana dependent\u0103 are fric\u0103 de singur\u0103tate \u0219i va face orice, p\u00e2n\u0103 la umilin\u021b\u0103, pentru a putea p\u0103stra pe cineva pe l\u00e2ng\u0103 ea. Faptul c\u0103 nu are \u00eencredere \u00een sine, nu ac\u021bioneaz\u0103 \u0219i deci nu are nici rezultate care s\u0103 o fac\u0103 s\u0103 se simt\u0103 bine, se simte mereu nedemn\u0103 de a fi iubit\u0103, consider\u0103 c\u0103 nu merit\u0103 nimic bun \u0219i faptul c\u0103 cineva st\u0103 cu ea e un privilegiu;<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-size: 24px; font-family: Gabriola;\">Triste\u021bea este emo\u021bia pe care o tr\u0103ie\u0219te cu preponderen\u021b\u0103, de aceea nu de pu\u021bine ori, persoana dependent\u0103 ajunge la depresie \u0219i sinucidere;<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-size: 24px; font-family: Gabriola;\">Persoana dependent\u0103 are o fric\u0103 nejustificat\u0103 de autoritate, nu ac\u021bioneaz\u0103 \u00een situa\u021bii banale de a-\u0219i revindeca un drept, de a-\u0219i rezolva o problem\u0103. De multe ori are o tentativ\u0103 de a manipula autoritatea, fiind obedient, dr\u0103gu\u021b \u00een mod exagerat, pentru a evita reac\u021biile autoritare \u0219i eventuala pedeaps\u0103;<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-size: 24px; font-family: Gabriola;\">Se simte mereu vinovat de nefericirea \u0219i problemele altora, la fel cum \u0219i el \u00eei g\u0103se\u0219te pe ceilal\u021bi vinova\u021bi de problemele lui;<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-size: 24px; font-family: Gabriola;\">Deoarece simt mereu nevoia de a li se acorda aten\u021bie, \u00een rela\u021bii devin foarte gelo\u0219i, posesivi, tr\u0103ind mereu cu frica de a nu r\u0103m\u00e2ne singuri;<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-size: 24px; font-family: Gabriola;\">Persoana dependent\u0103 are o foarte mare nevoie de via\u021b\u0103 sexual\u0103, aceast\u0103 parte a vie\u021bii consider\u00e2nd-o, poate, cea mai important\u0103. Prin sex se simte dorit\u0103, simte c\u0103 prime\u0219te aten\u021bia necesar\u0103, simte simbioza dintre ea \u0219i partener, deci siguran\u021ba de care are nevoie, ca s\u0103 se poat\u0103 relaxa c\u00e2t de c\u00e2t.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-size: 24px; font-family: Gabriola;\">Persoana cu fric\u0103 de abandon va sta \u00een rela\u021bii nesatisf\u0103c\u0103toare, nu \u00ee\u0219i va \u00eendeplini dorin\u021bele, hobby-urile, va fi nevoit\u0103 s\u0103-i fac\u0103 pe plac partenerului \u00een ceea ce prive\u0219te alegerea prietenilor, va fi vigilent\u0103 \u00een rela\u021biile cu cei din jur ca s\u0103 nu-\u0219i supere partenerul sau s\u0103 se fac\u0103 de r\u00e2s;<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-size: 24px; font-family: Gabriola;\">\u00cen rela\u021bii pot ap\u0103rea dou\u0103 situa\u021bii: fie stau \u00een rela\u021bii toxice, de cele mai multe ori neg\u00e2nd problemele, fie evit\u0103 s\u0103 intre \u00een rela\u021bii, invoc\u00e2nd justific\u0103ri, pentru a nu fi pu\u0219i \u00een situa\u021bia de a fi p\u0103r\u0103si\u021bi, conform principiului \u201emai bine evit dec\u00e2t s\u0103 confrunt situa\u021bia\u201d.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 24px; font-family: Gabriola;\">\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 De\u0219i e foarte greu \u0219i presupune mult efort din partea persoanei, exist\u0103 solu\u021bii terapeutice pentru rezolvarea acestei probleme \u0219i redefinirea modului de a-\u021bi tr\u0103i via\u021ba. <\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: right;\"><span style=\"font-family: Gabriola; font-size: 24px;\">Psiholog clinician \u2013 psihoterapeut<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-family: Gabriola; font-size: 24px;\"> Antoanela \u2013 Carmen\u00a0Cogian<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"font-family: Gabriola; font-size: 24px;\">Copierea sau reproducerea f\u0103r\u0103 men\u021bionarea sursei este strict interzis\u0103!<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 Copil\u0103ria, despre care cei din jur ne \u00eenva\u021b\u0103 c\u0103 e cea mai frumoas\u0103 perioad\u0103 a vie\u021bii, \u0219i culmea&#8230; noi \u00eei credem, perpetu\u00e2nd cutuma, este de fapt pentru mica fiin\u021b\u0103 o perioad\u0103 foarte grea, pe care din fericire nu o con\u0219tientizeaz\u0103. <br \/>\n <a class=\"read-more-link\" href=\"https:\/\/psihologterapeutiasi.ro\/index.php\/2018\/05\/05\/frica-de-abandon-sau-lanturile-dependentei\/\">READ MORE<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":399,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[13,17,16,14,15],"class_list":["post-398","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-dezvoltare-personala","tag-abandon","tag-antoanela-carmen-cogian","tag-iasi","tag-psiholog-iasi","tag-psihoterapeut-iasi"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/psihologterapeutiasi.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/Frica-de-abandon...-sau-lanturile-dependentei.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/psihologterapeutiasi.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/398","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/psihologterapeutiasi.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/psihologterapeutiasi.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/psihologterapeutiasi.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/psihologterapeutiasi.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=398"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/psihologterapeutiasi.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/398\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":400,"href":"https:\/\/psihologterapeutiasi.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/398\/revisions\/400"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/psihologterapeutiasi.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/399"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/psihologterapeutiasi.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=398"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/psihologterapeutiasi.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=398"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/psihologterapeutiasi.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=398"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}