{"id":404,"date":"2018-05-10T16:25:22","date_gmt":"2018-05-10T16:25:22","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/psihologterapeutiasi.ro\/?p=404"},"modified":"2018-05-10T16:25:22","modified_gmt":"2018-05-10T16:25:22","slug":"frica-de-umilire-sau-cand-vreau-sa-valorez-doi-lei","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/psihologterapeutiasi.ro\/index.php\/2018\/05\/10\/frica-de-umilire-sau-cand-vreau-sa-valorez-doi-lei\/","title":{"rendered":"FRICA DE UMILIRE&#8230; sau c\u00e2nd vreau s\u0103 valorez \u201edoi lei\u201d"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"font-family: Gabriola; font-size: 24px;\">\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 <img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-medium wp-image-405\" src=\"https:\/\/psihologterapeutiasi.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/Frica-de-umilire-sau-cand-valorez-doi-lei-238x300.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"238\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/psihologterapeutiasi.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/Frica-de-umilire-sau-cand-valorez-doi-lei-238x300.jpg 238w, https:\/\/psihologterapeutiasi.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/Frica-de-umilire-sau-cand-valorez-doi-lei.jpg 474w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 238px) 100vw, 238px\" \/>O alt\u0103 ran\u0103 care ne poate defini via\u021ba \u0219i rela\u021biile toxice \u00een care accept\u0103m s\u0103 tr\u0103im este cea de umilire. Ca \u0219i r\u0103nile prezentate anterior, cea de abandon \u0219i cea de tr\u0103dare, ea se instaleaz\u0103 la debutul copil\u0103riei, \u00eentre unu \u0219i trei ani. <\/span><!--more--><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: Gabriola; font-size: 24px;\">\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 Aceast\u0103 ran\u0103 are ca \u0219i baz\u0103 de pornire situa\u021biile \u00een care copilul se simte ru\u0219inat \u00een fa\u021ba altora pentru c\u0103 a f\u0103cut sau spus ceva necorespunz\u0103tor, fie simte c\u0103 celor din jur le e ru\u0219ine cu el. Masca care vrea s\u0103 ascund\u0103 aceast\u0103 ran\u0103 este masca masochistului, persoana sim\u021bind nevoia de a suferi, de a fi umilit\u0103, acesta fiind unicul mod \u00een care poate func\u021biona. Altfel spus, sensul existen\u021bei acestei persoane este de a face pe plac celorlal\u021bi \u00een detrimentul propriei persoane, pentru a fi acceptat \u0219i iubit. Mecanismul e urm\u0103torul: ca s\u0103 m\u0103 iube\u0219ti \u0219i s\u0103 m\u0103 apreciezi eu \u201em\u0103 a\u0219ez\u201d pe pozi\u021bie de inferioritate \u0219i devin servitorul t\u0103u umil, f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103-mi dau seama c\u0103 voi fi tratat ulterior conform pozi\u021biei alese. Incon\u0219tient, persoana \u00ee\u0219i va crea situa\u021bii \u00een care s\u0103 se autopedepseasc\u0103, s\u0103 sufere, s\u0103 se simt\u0103 umilit\u0103 de ceilal\u021bi, ne\u00een\u021beleg\u00e2nd de ce suport\u0103 un astfel de tratament, ce o face s\u0103 se \u00eentoarc\u0103 mereu \u0219i mereu \u00een acela\u0219i \u201eloc\u201d produc\u0103tor de suferin\u021b\u0103. Pentru cei care nu cunosc acest \u201efenomen\u201d psihologic, este vorba de compulsia la repeti\u021bie, care determin\u0103 psihicul s\u0103 creeze \u0219i s\u0103 recreeze situa\u021bii identice r\u0103nii, din nou \u0219i din nou, pentru ca persoana s\u0103 \u00een\u021beleag\u0103 \u0219i s\u0103-\u0219i rezolve trauma care i-a produs rana.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: Gabriola; font-size: 24px;\">\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 Nu doresc s\u0103 vorbesc \u00een acest articol despre \u201ecreativitatea\u201d nem\u0103rginit\u0103 a p\u0103rin\u021bilor care \u00ee\u0219i umilesc copiii \u0219i motivele incon\u0219tiente pentru care o fac, acesta fiind un subiect care merit\u0103 tratat separat.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: Gabriola; font-size: 24px;\">\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 <strong>Iat\u0103 c\u00e2teva comportamente specifice fricii de umilire:<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"font-family: Gabriola; font-size: 24px;\">Persoana cu o asemenea ran\u0103 \u00ee\u0219i asum\u0103 responsabilit\u0103\u021bi mai mult dec\u00e2t poate duce \u0219i are grij\u0103 de ceilal\u021bi \u00een detrimentul propriei persoane. Autoumilirea creat\u0103 \u0219i de care se pl\u00e2nge necontenit, este de fapt o metod\u0103 pervers\u0103 de umilire a celuilalt: doar eu \u0219tiu cum e mai bine pentru tine, doar eu \u0219tiu cum se face, tu nu \u0219tii nimic \u0219i e\u0219ti incapabil s\u0103-\u021bi gestionezi via\u021ba;<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-family: Gabriola; font-size: 24px;\">Persoana masochist\u0103 este foarte centrat\u0103 pe umilin\u021b\u0103, de aceea creeaz\u0103 incon\u0219tient contexte de umilire \u00een ambele sensuri \u2013 c\u0103tre sine \u0219i c\u0103tre ceilal\u021bi;<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-family: Gabriola; font-size: 24px;\">Faptul c\u0103 acestor persoane le este fric\u0103 s\u0103 nu se fac\u0103 de r\u00e2s, se vor l\u0103sa controla\u021bi de cei pe care \u00eei consider\u0103 mai capabili dec\u00e2t ei sau vor controla ei pe cei din jur, consider\u00e2nd c\u0103 cei apropia\u021bi \u00eei pot face de r\u00e2s dac\u0103 ei nu sunt vigilen\u021bi;<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-family: Gabriola; font-size: 24px;\">O mam\u0103 care are acest\u0103 fric\u0103 \u00ee\u0219i va \u00eempov\u0103ra copiii cu reguli foarte rigide \u00een ceea ce prive\u0219te cur\u0103\u021benia, conduita, va sta mereu ca un radar gata s\u0103 detecteze orice posil derapaj care le poate face familia de r\u00e2s. Mai mult, o mam\u0103 cu aceast\u0103 ran\u0103 nu poate admite s\u0103 dea gre\u0219 \u00een rolul ei, este perfec\u021bionist\u0103 \u0219i va transmite mai departe copiilor aceast\u0103 povar\u0103;<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-family: Gabriola; font-size: 24px;\">Acesta persoan\u0103 de\u0219i \u0219tie care \u00eei sunt nevoile se las\u0103 mereu pe ultimul loc, aceasta fiind forma de pedeaps\u0103 prin care \u00ee\u0219i provoac\u0103 suferin\u021b\u0103. Nu de pu\u021bine ori masochistul face haz de necaz, se autoironizeaz\u0103, astfel vr\u00e2nd s\u0103 arate c\u0103 nu-i pas\u0103 de ceea ce i se \u00eent\u00e2mpl\u0103;<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-family: Gabriola; font-size: 24px;\">\u00cen familiile \u00een care e prezent\u0103 rana umilin\u021bei stau bine ascunse secretele de familie \u2013 nu se discut\u0103 \u0219i nu trebuie s\u0103 se afle nimic despre ceva ce i-ar putea face de r\u00e2s, despre ceva ce nu e \u00een conformitate cu normele sociale sau cutumele \u201etribului\u201d \u00een care tr\u0103iesc \u2013 homosexualitate, alcoolism, infidelitate, violen\u021b\u0103 domestic\u0103 etc.<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-family: Gabriola; font-size: 24px;\">Deoarece \u00een copil\u0103rie a fost mereu \u00eencorsetat, masochistul are o dorin\u021b\u0103 mare de libertate, doar c\u0103 atunci c\u00e2nd o are nu \u0219tie cum s\u0103 se descurce datorit\u0103 lipsei de experien\u021b\u0103. Aceasta \u00eel face s\u0103 oscileze mereu \u00eentre excese de libertate \u0219i inac\u021biune pe fondul fricii de a nu reu\u0219i, de a se face de r\u00e2s. Acesta fric\u0103 \u00eei pune piedic\u0103 \u00een evolu\u021bie \u0219i \u00eel va \u021bine pe loc \u00een situa\u021biile de umilire \u00een care este angajat;<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-family: Gabriola; font-size: 24px;\">Faptul c\u0103 st\u0103 \u00eentr-o stare de inac\u021biune persoana se poate \u00eengr\u0103\u0219a peste m\u0103sur\u0103, acesta provoc\u00e2ndu-i dezgust fa\u021b\u0103 de propria persoan\u0103. Dezgustul asociat cu ru\u0219inea poate fi cauza unui comportament sexual inadecvat ce implic\u0103 control \u0219i pudoare. De exemplu, sexul pentru o t\u00e2n\u0103r\u0103 cu aceast\u0103 problem\u0103 poate fi considerat dezgust\u0103tor \u0219i murdar;<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-family: Gabriola; font-size: 24px;\">Persoana care are rana de umilire are un sentiment de vinov\u0103\u021bie foarte activ \u2013 se simte vinovat\u0103 pentru orice lucru m\u0103runt, se pedepse\u0219te aspru chiar dac\u0103 sentimentul de vinov\u0103\u021bie nu are nici o logic\u0103. Are grij\u0103 ca s\u0103 nu fie pus \u00een situa\u021bia de a fi considerat un profitor, prefer\u0103 s\u0103 ofere dec\u00e2t s\u0103 primeasc\u0103;<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"font-family: Gabriola; font-size: 24px;\">Persoana c\u0103reia \u00eei place s\u0103 tr\u0103iasc\u0103 umilirea poate accepta comportamente sexuale deviante din zona sado-masochismului;<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: Gabriola; font-size: 24px;\">\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 Dac\u0103 nu vei avea curajul necesar de a vedea un terapeut \u0219i a urma un drum nou, te vei \u00eentoarce mereu \u0219i mereu \u00een acela\u0219i loc, unde umilin\u021ba \u00ee\u021bi este hrana de fiecare zi! \u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: right;\"><span style=\"font-family: Gabriola; font-size: 24px;\">Psiholog clinician \u2013 psihoterapeut<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-family: Gabriola; font-size: 24px;\"> Antoanela \u2013 Carmen\u00a0Cogian<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><span style=\"font-family: Gabriola; font-size: 24px;\">Copierea sau reproducerea f\u0103r\u0103 men\u021bionarea sursei este strict interzis\u0103!<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 O alt\u0103 ran\u0103 care ne poate defini via\u021ba \u0219i rela\u021biile toxice \u00een care accept\u0103m s\u0103 tr\u0103im este cea de umilire. Ca \u0219i r\u0103nile prezentate anterior, cea de abandon \u0219i cea de tr\u0103dare, ea se instaleaz\u0103 la debutul copil\u0103riei, \u00eentre unu \u0219i trei ani. <br \/>\n <a class=\"read-more-link\" href=\"https:\/\/psihologterapeutiasi.ro\/index.php\/2018\/05\/10\/frica-de-umilire-sau-cand-vreau-sa-valorez-doi-lei\/\">READ MORE<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":405,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[17,16,14,15,19],"class_list":["post-404","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-dezvoltare-personala","tag-antoanela-carmen-cogian","tag-iasi","tag-psiholog-iasi","tag-psihoterapeut-iasi","tag-umilire"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/psihologterapeutiasi.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/Frica-de-umilire-sau-cand-valorez-doi-lei.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/psihologterapeutiasi.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/404","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/psihologterapeutiasi.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/psihologterapeutiasi.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/psihologterapeutiasi.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/psihologterapeutiasi.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=404"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/psihologterapeutiasi.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/404\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":406,"href":"https:\/\/psihologterapeutiasi.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/404\/revisions\/406"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/psihologterapeutiasi.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/405"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/psihologterapeutiasi.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=404"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/psihologterapeutiasi.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=404"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/psihologterapeutiasi.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=404"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}